Emma Jean Householder's Obituary
It is with deep sadness that we announce the death of Emma Jean Frerich Stephens Householder on 26th of January 2023 at the age of 86.
Known as Jean, she grew up on the Frerich Ranch to the southwest of Brackettville TX as the oldest sibling and the only daughter of Leo and Emma Frerich, with her two brothers Edwin and Raymond Frerich who have pre-deceased her. She attended Sacred Heart Academy in Del Rio and Brackettville High School. Originally thinking she wanted to be a veterinarian, her father steered her toward nursing, and she attended Seton School of Nursing in Austin with her two close friends, Rose Mary (Hoover) Slubar and Patricia (Frerich) Spain.
Whilst doing her practical training in New Orleans at Charity Hospital she met her smooth talking first husband, J. Wilson Stephens, in 1959 with whom she had two children, Jaye Ann and Joel. Married to Wilson and raising their children, she lived in England, Florida, Texas, and had a short stint in Colorado before making it back to Texas permanently. When Jean and Wilson went their separate ways in the early 80’s, she chose to come back to Brackettville, where she felt at home and welcome. There was a dire need for health care professionals, and she found a position at United Medical Centre as a Registered Nurse.
It was in this position as a clinic nurse that most people in the area know of her. For over thirty years, from 1984 until 2015, she worked, mostly with Dr Luz and his team, and then the PA Paul Hitchcock, until, at the age of 79, she retired from her full-time position. Her warm, calm manner and competence reassured literally thousands of patients over her career. At one point, she worked three jobs at once, as a full-time nurse in the local Brackettville clinic, on weekends did a night shift at the hospital in Del Rio, and in evenings provided Home Health Care in the local communities in Brackettville and Del Rio. When the Kinney County emergency ambulance service was run by volunteers, Jean would be called out in the middle of the night to ride with patients to the hospital and still show up for work at the clinic the next day.
Her first Christmas in Brackettville as newly divorced was different from the normal family Christmas she was used to, which would include a traditional camping event in south Florida with her husband, children, and in-laws. In 1984, instead of sitting around a campfire in south Florida, or helping cook a Christmas meal over propane gas camp stoves for over 100 of her extended in-law family, she went out into the Brackettville community with her friend Rose Mary and delivered presents and food to those who might not have any visits from Santa that year.
Her volunteering extended to helping with literacy projects in the community, going into young student’s homes to read with them in the evenings and help them with homework. She put some shifts in at the recycling plant on Fort Clark, something that was important to her values-- Do Not Waste. As part of the “Antibodies” walking team with her sister-in-law Gaylene Frerich, and other work colleagues including Lydia Tipps, she raised money for cancer charities. She attended and was a supporter of the Catholic Church in Brackettville for many years, and on the committee which supplied food for funeral events and hot food deliveries to those who were unable to cook for themselves.
In Brackettville, she met James (Jim) Householder from Houston, who was visiting his sister and brother-in-law, Charlotte and Be Sweet, who lived locally. They married, and thanks to help from Elsa O’Rourke, bought the home on Fort Clark with a beautiful view of Las Moras Creek where they have lived ever since. Jim was a businessman and music promoter, and built up a recording studio business, Calvary Productions, which was run by local musician Rocco Fortunato. On one of their wedding anniversaries, Jim put Jean’s photo in the Brackettville newspaper and thanked her for marrying him. Jean was a carer for Jim’s last few years, and before he died, he declared that Jean was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
Although she was a ranch girl, raised by a traditional mom in a traditional family structure, she was a quiet feminist. She believed in women’s equality. Her daughter noted this when her mother roundly rejected the popular self-help book for married women in 1973 “the Total Woman” which messaged that women should first and foremost attend to their fragile husband’s needs.
She was annoyed when the local bank president did not approve a car loan for her when she was newly divorced. She had been an incredibly financially responsible person her whole life. She was so thrifty that she could send some of the money back that her father gave her for living expenses when she was in nursing school, knowing they needed it at the ranch. After she divorced, leaving her marriage with virtually nothing and feeling a bit bruised, she started from scratch at the age of 48, and managed to pick herself up, get a new job, buy a house, and build a LIFE, and was generous with her family and charitable giving to various causes.
Although she was a quiet person, Jean had an incredible inner strength and wisdom. She was a great listener, and non-judgmental. When her daughter was going through difficult times in high school, university, or a painful job, or her own divorce, her mother listened, and listened, and listened…she was always there, always supportive, and hugely comforting.
She was an Eco Warrior, before climate change was in anyone’s vocabulary. The 1968 family house in Florida had a lavender bath and sink and toilet (imagine!) and rather than change out that suite, she coordinated this with matching lavender and cream striped wallpaper. It was perfect, except for one thing. Her daughter noted that the neighbours across the street had lavender colored toilet paper, and she wanted to accessorise the bathroom with this newly available tissue color, but Jean said no. “Why not!” “Because that paper has dyes in it that are not good for the environment, it goes into the water, and stays there”.
Growing up on a ranch during times of thrift, or drought, nothing got wasted, and Jean was particularly good at reusing things, keeping leftovers and making some nice meal of them, and her sewing skills were put to good use for both repairs and creating new clothes. If she had some rice leftover from dinner, her family could expect a custardy rice pudding with juicy raisins and cinnamon for an evening snack after watching the Dick van Dyke Show on TV.
She wasn’t averse to learning something new, she took up snow skiing in her early 40’s, and learned to scuba dive in her 50’s. She was a lifelong learner, and took evening classes in furniture restoration, Chinese cooking, interior design. All of this whilst working full time and being a mother, doing her own laundry and house cleaning. She arranged her shift working hours so that she could be home with her children when they were, either working the 7am to 3pm shift when they were in elementary school or working nights from 11pm to 7am so she could be there when they got home from high school.
To her family’s surprise, in retirement she became an avid San Antonio Spurs basketball fan. It was a joy she shared with her friend and cousin, Pat. When asked who she would prefer to be stranded on a desert island with—Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, or Manu Ginobili, Jean quickly responded “Tim Duncan for sure… But Manu would be my second choice!”
Jean loved animals. All her animals were strays or in circumstances needing a loving home. More than once she took in dogs of patients who could no longer look after them. She took in motherless baby squirrels and hand-fed them with a pipette until they could fend for themselves. One squirrel was so attached to her, it came back to visit before disappearing for good. Jean knew that squirrel wasn’t well, but she was able to comfort it before it left—once a nurse, always a nurse. She was unflinching and dedicated in her care of them all. At one point, she had two dogs and four cats in her home, when adding in some of the family’s dog and cats she fostered. She was concerned for their welfare and made sure there were plans for their care when she was unable to provide it by herself.
Jean Householder was first and foremost a wonderful, loving mother and grandmother who will be massively missed as the central heart and soul and light of the family. Both of her children lived abroad for much of their careers, and although it was hard for her to have her kids so far away, they would say it was a mark of her success as a mother to have prepared them so well for such independence. Although she liked being home in Brackettville, she took up the opportunity to visit them abroad in England, the US Virgin Islands, and Aruba, as much as she could, and was a wonderful friend and grandmother to her six grandchildren.
Surviving her are her children, son Joel Stephens and his wife Mirka Stephens, daughter Jaye Ford Warman and her husband Russ Warman, and her six grandchildren: Jennifer Anne Stephens Davenport, Patty Stephens, Aleeza Jean Stephens, Lieke Stephens, Brandon Leo Ford, and Rhiannon Lia Ford. Her family included Jim Householder’s grown children Jimmy Householder and Debbie Miller, and their children, with whom she never lost touch. Obviously, being a Frerich, she has many extended relatives in the Kinney County area, nephews and nieces who have been very kind making sure she was okay. Elisa Frerich, Liz Frerich, Amanda Frerich, Dee Dee Frerich, and Chris and Jamie Sweet were so helpful and attentive, which was much appreciated, especially during the last few months.
Services to celebrate Jean’s life will be held at St. Mary Magdalene’s Catholic Church on Tuesday 31 January, visitation at 9:30, Rosary 10:15, Mass 11:00, followed by Procession and burial at St. Mary’s Cemetery.
A visitation will be held Tuesday, January 31 at St. Mary's Magdalene in Brackettville from 9:30 A.M. to 10:00 A.M. where a Rosary will begin at 10:15 A.M. Mass is set for Tuesday, January 31, 2023 at 11:00 A.M. at St. Mary's Magdalen. Interment to follow at Kinney County Cemtery.
What’s your fondest memory of Emma?
What’s a lesson you learned from Emma?
Share a story where Emma's kindness touched your heart.
Describe a day with Emma you’ll never forget.
How did Emma make you smile?